Right?!
I have neglected to post for several weeks now and my brother reminded me of this, so I figure I should get back to it!
Many positive things have happened lately and I am feeling good about the next few months.
School started off with a bang this semester like it always does. I've already taken my first exam, which I passed (barely), and my second exam is coming up in less than two weeks. What happened to the days when studying for a test meant memorizing the definitions of terms like "antagonist" and "legislature"? When making up acronyms to remember the organization of living things would earn you an 'A' in biology? Or just simply paying attention to 50% of what the teacher said in class could get you on the honor roll? For those of you who don't know, I am that person who gets offended at the sight of a 'B' and thinks about it for weeks. Anything less than an 'A' is a personal attack on my character.
How quickly things change!
Not to say that I don't still get offended, but I am happy just to get that 75 (although I still think it's a bit evil that now it's 75 instead of it forever being 70 before and now I actually need the 5 extra points). I must admit that I am still not back into the full swing of school this semester. It always takes me a few weeks to really commit myself 100% to studying and realize that school is my ENTIRE LIFE for the next 10 months. And then I think, 10 months?! That's it?! I can commit to anything for 10 months and I should really stick my head in a book (instead of writing this, perhaps? Nooo... :)) Afterall, the more I learn now, the more successful I will be later... and besides, I love every minute of school, I just have a serious undiagnosed case of ADD and studying have never really been my forte. I have to say that I must be doing something right because I received and accepted an invitation to the college's honor society this week. Hey, hey, hey and I get to wear spiffy gold cords at graduation.
Nearly three weeks ago, my newest nephew was born to my brother and sister-in-law. They live in Austin, about a 4 hour drive south from where I live, and Daniel and I travelled down for his birth. We were only able to spend 2 short days there, in which time I fell in love with this precious new life and came to the realization, yet again, that distance between family is really unbearable. I live a 30 minute drive from my mother and my sister, brother-in-law, nephew and niece and Daniel's parents live less than an hour away; even though we don't see them all of the time, the option to plan a get-together in a days notice or drop-by for an impromptu visit is really a great luxury. I often find myself wishing we lived closer to my brother and his family, or that they lived closer to all of us, rather, and this feeling was particularly apparent a few weeks ago on the drive home from meeting my baby nephew.
The conflict comes when I tell you that Daniel and I have serious intentions of moving out of the country when I graduate and after we get married. We both picture making a life there, traveling and, most importantly, taking advantage of many opportunities that Europe has to offer and America does not. We fantasize about our life over there, I find myself feeling jealous of people who live there and it saddens me, no depresses me, when I think about not moving there. That said, just a few short weeks ago, sitting in the passenger seat of our car as Daniel drove us away from that little baby, I began to cry thinking about a life in which I would live so far away from my nephews and niece. A life in which I could not be an aunt.
I've only been an aunt for 3 and a half years, beginning when my first nephew, my sister's son, was born. That was the first time I had ever felt love like that. The kind of love you can't describe, it can only be experienced and felt first-hand because it is so wonderful and instant and deep and fragile. It almost makes you feel like your sole mission in life is to never let that beautiful being down; like your only purpose is to make sure that baby grows up with as much love and support as you can give it. Of course in planning to move away, the one issue I have with the whole idea is leaving my family. That was always the issue for me. Not to say that living across an ocean from my mother, brother and sister wouldn't be hard, but living across an ocean from my nephews and niece would be nearly impossible. I've known my siblings and my mother all my life. I am confident that I could maintain a relationship with them, even living thousands of miles away from them, no problem (well, sure, it would pose problems, but nothing that would change our relationships with each other).
Moving thousands of miles away from tiny people that I haven't even gotten to know yet would most likely break my heart into a million pieces. If we lived in England or in Germany, I couldn't pick Logan up from school on a Wednesday afternoon and go to the park then to get ice cream. I wouldn't be able to have Laine over for a slumber party so we could bake cupcakes and paint our nails. I couldn't have Grayson stay at our house for a week in the summer to swim everyday and camp out in the backyard. I wouldn't truly know these children or watch them grow up and I don't think I could stand not being their favorite aunt (hehe).
That's why a compromise was born.
Daniel and I still plan on moving to Europe, but only for a fixed period of time. The plan is for me to perhaps be a traveling nurse and sign on for a 2, 3, or 4 year contract (obviously depending on what is going on or what can be done) and then come back! It's quite funny actually that this makes me feel better because, afterall, we could decided not to come back once we are there, but I think that having the mentality that we will only be there for a short while makes all of the difference (in my mind, anyway!) That way, we can have the best of both worlds! We can experience new lands and travel for several years and still get back in time to be aunties and uncles:) Right? Riiiiight???
Well, it all sounds good in theory... we shall see!
I'm cutting this short (ha) cause it's my bed time.
Til next time,
Take Care.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Fear
First things that come to mind...?
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?
Fear (starring Reese Witherspoon and Mark Wahlberg)?
Fear mongering?
None of these things are the topic of today's blog.
During this somewhat tumuluous time in my life, I fear many things. My fiance told me that he knows he loves me because he is afraid of losing me, and I would have to agree; that is how I feel about him as well. For me, that fear is not a fear of us seperating or ending our relationship, because that is a conscious choice that we would choose to make together. I fear losing him in a way that is unavoidable, irreversible and final. A fear of the unknown, or the uncontrollable. If something were to ever happen, or when something happens rather, I need it to be later rather than sooner. I need for us both to live to a ripe old age, with a lifetime of experiences, happiness, sadness, and memories to look back on together. I need for us to have a small family in 5 years, for us to be settled in a place we both adore to watch our children grow, and for us to be happy in our jobs and in our marriage. I need for us to travel to far off places, for us to enjoy every new culture we visit and make all of our dreams come true. I need for us to depend on each other now and forever, to laugh at our own mistakes and learn to make each other smile when things get tough. I need to live my life with Daniel as my partner, and I need to be a part of his life. Period.
We have so many plans. Plans for tomorrow and plans for 50 years from now, and I'm going to need those things to happen. Now, that's not to say that if something (and many, many somethings will) derailed a plan, we couldn't work through it and make new plans. We can and we will make new plans and rethink a million things between now and next week, I'm sure, but set-backs are only temporary. My fear is that my best friend, my partner in crime, my other half will somehow unexpectedly be taken from me before we can see all of the great things we have planned for ourselve come to fruition. This is not an all-consuming, overwhelming fear that I can't escape. I think that it is a very healthy fear, actually, and I feel that fear is an essential element of love and of life.
I suppose that this fear originates from the thought that I won't appreciate all of the time we have together now. That one day, many, many years from now, I will be old and alone, thinking back on all of the time I had, and how little time I have left, and regretting things. I don't want to neglect all of the opportunites I have to just enjoy life with Daniel and to inspire people by being someone who seizes the day, despite fear!
I also fear failure. This has a lot to do with school progressing and my insecurities about entering a new field, the healthcare field. I had never been exposed to it before beginning nursing school. I don't ever remember a time when I was hospitalized (or old enough to remember it) and I don't have family members who work in the profession, so everything is new, new, NEW! The newness, coupled with the fact that I've never stuck with anything long enough to complete it (except this!), is somewhat terrifying. Not to mention, the thought of being responsible for someone else's well-being is beyond intimidating. I have recently completed my resume and started applying for jobs at two of the local hospitals. I am lucky in that we live around tons of different medical facilites, but I really want to get my foot in the door at a hospital so that I have a better chance at securing a nursing job when the time comes and I have my license. I am currently waiting to hear from one of the hospitals about a nurse tech job I applied for and I am just so afraid I won't hear anything, or that I won't get the job if I am offered an interview or that the world will end before I even get the chance to be an employee of a hospital! I fear all I am destined for is retail and waitressing jobs, HELP!
Ok, so I am exaggerating a bit here, but still, I can freak out, right?
I had my hospital orientation for my clinical group from school earlier today. My clinicals this semester are at a hospital a few towns over, so I'd never been there before. The orientation and hospital tour were amazing... if I can say that orientation was amazing, just imagine how amazing working there for clincals is going to be. Seriously, I am stoked. This place was real, real nice (hillbilly accent) with state-of-the-art equipment and all the staff was super nice, including our new clinical instructor. He seems like a badass for sure. Anyone who is a teacher for the North Central Texas College associate degree nursing program and says the words, "I'm not a stickler about paperwork" is a friend of mine! Besides, he seems like a nice guy with a lot of connections in the hospital world, which is exactly what an experience-hungry nursing student craves.
I fear that if I do get this job I'm vying for or when I am at the hospital with school, I will be expected to do things and know things that I just won't know how to do or I won't know what in the hell they're talking about. This fear of failure or inadequacy is something I've been feeling creep in more and more now that I am more than halfway done with earning my degree. I am less than one year away from being responsible for sick people's lives. For the lives of newborn babies and people who don't have the capacity to care for themselves. This is daunting.
Although I have this fear, I also have this little piece of confidence that hides out in the back of my mind and reassures me when I stop freaking out long enough to hear it. You are intelligent. You are capable. You are not the only person who feels like this. You can do this. I cannot wait to DO this.
Mostly, I find, that my fear comes in the form of anticipation. Anticipation of what is yet to come. I feel like the whole world will soon open up to me, and I couldn't be more excited to dive in.
All of these up and down emotions I've been feeling are good because I am learning from them. I am learning from myself, which is neat. I am learning that the world truly is my oyster, so I should never let the fear I have of the unknown overcome the adventure of finding a pearl... or something like that...
Aaaaand, in other news, my nephew will be born this Friday! Hip, hip, HOORAY! I feel like this child has been in utero for like at least a year now.
Anyway, things are going well and I'll just keep hurrying to slow down;]
Take Care.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?
Fear (starring Reese Witherspoon and Mark Wahlberg)?
Fear mongering?
None of these things are the topic of today's blog.
During this somewhat tumuluous time in my life, I fear many things. My fiance told me that he knows he loves me because he is afraid of losing me, and I would have to agree; that is how I feel about him as well. For me, that fear is not a fear of us seperating or ending our relationship, because that is a conscious choice that we would choose to make together. I fear losing him in a way that is unavoidable, irreversible and final. A fear of the unknown, or the uncontrollable. If something were to ever happen, or when something happens rather, I need it to be later rather than sooner. I need for us both to live to a ripe old age, with a lifetime of experiences, happiness, sadness, and memories to look back on together. I need for us to have a small family in 5 years, for us to be settled in a place we both adore to watch our children grow, and for us to be happy in our jobs and in our marriage. I need for us to travel to far off places, for us to enjoy every new culture we visit and make all of our dreams come true. I need for us to depend on each other now and forever, to laugh at our own mistakes and learn to make each other smile when things get tough. I need to live my life with Daniel as my partner, and I need to be a part of his life. Period.
We have so many plans. Plans for tomorrow and plans for 50 years from now, and I'm going to need those things to happen. Now, that's not to say that if something (and many, many somethings will) derailed a plan, we couldn't work through it and make new plans. We can and we will make new plans and rethink a million things between now and next week, I'm sure, but set-backs are only temporary. My fear is that my best friend, my partner in crime, my other half will somehow unexpectedly be taken from me before we can see all of the great things we have planned for ourselve come to fruition. This is not an all-consuming, overwhelming fear that I can't escape. I think that it is a very healthy fear, actually, and I feel that fear is an essential element of love and of life.
I suppose that this fear originates from the thought that I won't appreciate all of the time we have together now. That one day, many, many years from now, I will be old and alone, thinking back on all of the time I had, and how little time I have left, and regretting things. I don't want to neglect all of the opportunites I have to just enjoy life with Daniel and to inspire people by being someone who seizes the day, despite fear!
I also fear failure. This has a lot to do with school progressing and my insecurities about entering a new field, the healthcare field. I had never been exposed to it before beginning nursing school. I don't ever remember a time when I was hospitalized (or old enough to remember it) and I don't have family members who work in the profession, so everything is new, new, NEW! The newness, coupled with the fact that I've never stuck with anything long enough to complete it (except this!), is somewhat terrifying. Not to mention, the thought of being responsible for someone else's well-being is beyond intimidating. I have recently completed my resume and started applying for jobs at two of the local hospitals. I am lucky in that we live around tons of different medical facilites, but I really want to get my foot in the door at a hospital so that I have a better chance at securing a nursing job when the time comes and I have my license. I am currently waiting to hear from one of the hospitals about a nurse tech job I applied for and I am just so afraid I won't hear anything, or that I won't get the job if I am offered an interview or that the world will end before I even get the chance to be an employee of a hospital! I fear all I am destined for is retail and waitressing jobs, HELP!
Ok, so I am exaggerating a bit here, but still, I can freak out, right?
I had my hospital orientation for my clinical group from school earlier today. My clinicals this semester are at a hospital a few towns over, so I'd never been there before. The orientation and hospital tour were amazing... if I can say that orientation was amazing, just imagine how amazing working there for clincals is going to be. Seriously, I am stoked. This place was real, real nice (hillbilly accent) with state-of-the-art equipment and all the staff was super nice, including our new clinical instructor. He seems like a badass for sure. Anyone who is a teacher for the North Central Texas College associate degree nursing program and says the words, "I'm not a stickler about paperwork" is a friend of mine! Besides, he seems like a nice guy with a lot of connections in the hospital world, which is exactly what an experience-hungry nursing student craves.
I fear that if I do get this job I'm vying for or when I am at the hospital with school, I will be expected to do things and know things that I just won't know how to do or I won't know what in the hell they're talking about. This fear of failure or inadequacy is something I've been feeling creep in more and more now that I am more than halfway done with earning my degree. I am less than one year away from being responsible for sick people's lives. For the lives of newborn babies and people who don't have the capacity to care for themselves. This is daunting.
 |
| Relax, this ain't my first rodeo... |
Although I have this fear, I also have this little piece of confidence that hides out in the back of my mind and reassures me when I stop freaking out long enough to hear it. You are intelligent. You are capable. You are not the only person who feels like this. You can do this. I cannot wait to DO this.
Mostly, I find, that my fear comes in the form of anticipation. Anticipation of what is yet to come. I feel like the whole world will soon open up to me, and I couldn't be more excited to dive in.
All of these up and down emotions I've been feeling are good because I am learning from them. I am learning from myself, which is neat. I am learning that the world truly is my oyster, so I should never let the fear I have of the unknown overcome the adventure of finding a pearl... or something like that...
Aaaaand, in other news, my nephew will be born this Friday! Hip, hip, HOORAY! I feel like this child has been in utero for like at least a year now.
Anyway, things are going well and I'll just keep hurrying to slow down;]
Take Care.
Monday, January 16, 2012
So Close
...yet so far away!
Tomorrow marks the beginning of my last year of nursing school. This year, 2012, will be the year I earn my college degree. Six years ago this passed December, I graduated early from highschool with no real plans. Period. No plans to go to college, no plans to move out, no plans to support myself financially, no plans to travel, no plans to move away, no plans to eventually get married, no plans to one day have children; nothing to look forward to. Just the excitement of leaving highschool behind and looking forward to my eighteenth birthday when I could maybe buy a pack of cigarettes legally or willingly offer up my own ID to get into a club.
Boy, what a difference six years makes!
I am now closer to accomplishing a goal than I think I have ever been in my entire life. A goal that I set for myself, a goal that no one and nothing else was forcing me to reach for, a goal that actually has meaning to me. When I can finally say that I am a college graduate, that will be the day I will feel like I have accomplished something. This next year is the most important in my life so far, and at the end of it, I will be a registered nurse. More than that, though, I will have made and followed through with a plan. I have never done that.
The next few years of my life will be chock-full of reaching goals by following through with plans I've made. The next few years of my life WILL. FUCKING. ROCK.
First, I will graduate, earning my associate's degree in registered nursing.
Then, I will get a kickass job at a kickass hospital assisting with kickass surgeries, or delivering kickass babies, or just kicking ass.
Next, I will marry my best friend, the greatest man I have ever met and become Mrs. Brockett. (crazy!)
Then, hopefully, we will be planning for our first child:)
And lastly, selling all of our worldly possessions, packing up our fur babies and moving to the motherland! (well, potentially England, maybe Germany or maybe somewhere we don't even know we want to go yet).
What I do know is that no matter what happens, or doesn't happen, I have a million things to look forward to, with the one I love right by my side, and each new thing is more exciting than the last. I am becoming the person I want to be with the life I want to have (not to say that my life isn't already fulfilling) and I am getting closer and closer to being able to help support our little family financially, which is totally awesome.
Thank goodness for moms and fiances and puppies and sisters and brothers and parents-in-law and friends for all the encouragement they have for me.
This year will be so kickass!
Amen!
Take Care.
Tomorrow marks the beginning of my last year of nursing school. This year, 2012, will be the year I earn my college degree. Six years ago this passed December, I graduated early from highschool with no real plans. Period. No plans to go to college, no plans to move out, no plans to support myself financially, no plans to travel, no plans to move away, no plans to eventually get married, no plans to one day have children; nothing to look forward to. Just the excitement of leaving highschool behind and looking forward to my eighteenth birthday when I could maybe buy a pack of cigarettes legally or willingly offer up my own ID to get into a club.
Boy, what a difference six years makes!
I am now closer to accomplishing a goal than I think I have ever been in my entire life. A goal that I set for myself, a goal that no one and nothing else was forcing me to reach for, a goal that actually has meaning to me. When I can finally say that I am a college graduate, that will be the day I will feel like I have accomplished something. This next year is the most important in my life so far, and at the end of it, I will be a registered nurse. More than that, though, I will have made and followed through with a plan. I have never done that.
The next few years of my life will be chock-full of reaching goals by following through with plans I've made. The next few years of my life WILL. FUCKING. ROCK.
First, I will graduate, earning my associate's degree in registered nursing.
Then, I will get a kickass job at a kickass hospital assisting with kickass surgeries, or delivering kickass babies, or just kicking ass.
Next, I will marry my best friend, the greatest man I have ever met and become Mrs. Brockett. (crazy!)
Then, hopefully, we will be planning for our first child:)
And lastly, selling all of our worldly possessions, packing up our fur babies and moving to the motherland! (well, potentially England, maybe Germany or maybe somewhere we don't even know we want to go yet).
What I do know is that no matter what happens, or doesn't happen, I have a million things to look forward to, with the one I love right by my side, and each new thing is more exciting than the last. I am becoming the person I want to be with the life I want to have (not to say that my life isn't already fulfilling) and I am getting closer and closer to being able to help support our little family financially, which is totally awesome.
Thank goodness for moms and fiances and puppies and sisters and brothers and parents-in-law and friends for all the encouragement they have for me.
This year will be so kickass!
Amen!
Take Care.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Separation Anxiety
I must preface this post by saying I don't really have anything interesting to say... and after writing it, I can now say that no one will be interested in reading this except for me haha...
Tomorrow Daniel and I are leaving for the weekend. We are headed to Austin for the annual Star of Texas tattoo convention for our third year with intentions to also see some sites and spend some quality time with my brother and sister-in-law. I've also recently developed an obsession with thrifting, so I hope to venture into a few thrift shops because I know Austin has some really good ones! I will be on the look-out for a mustard yellow wing-back chair (I will die if I actually find one for a good price) and any pretty little odds and ends I can get my hands on.
Taking the weekend trip to the convention has kind of become our little "anniversary trip" because the first year we attended the convention, Daniel and I had been dating for several months, but had made our relationship "official" just a few weeks before and so the trip to Austin was our first experience traveling together and taking trips anywhere (even just 3 hours away) is always so fun when it's with the one you love:) We even said the words "I love you" for the first time in Austin (awwww).
So, I'm excited to head south with high hopes of having a great time! One of my (not so secret) secret hopes is that my pregnant sister-in-law goes into labor before her due date of January 26th. I want to meet that baby and I want to meet him this weekend while we're there! My plan includes feeding her habanero peppers and maybe rubbing her feet to hit the nerve that can induce labor. I am also getting tattooed at the convention by Tristan (don't tell my mom), one of Daniel's co-workers, so I am super stoked on that too!
Traveling anywhere always means that I have to leave my three beautiful fur babies at home in the care of someone else. This seperation always makes me feel a little weepy and slightly guilty; almost as if passing off my responsibility for them to someone else for the weekend means I'm not responsible enough to be their mommy or that leaving them for a few days will make my fur babies sad and angry that I left them. In reality, I know they notice that we're gone, but I imagine they probably don't mind as much as I do. I am just a worrier (thanks, mom), but I know they are in good hands and that when we get back home after our trip, they won't even remember I was ever gone.
I imagine I love my dog babies the same way a mother loves her child. Not to say that the love a mother has for her child is equal to the love I have for my dogs, but I bet it is the same kind of love. The kind of love that hurts when you have to leave and is so strong that you never have question why you feel it, you just do and you'll never stop. I love how individual my dogs are. I love their personalities so much and their uniqueness... and their craziness.
Calla is the eldest sister. She was our first dog together (my first dog ever) and we planned all of the details before taking her home. We had looked online at a pet finder website and narrowed down our search to the local shelter in town and another shelter in a bordering town that had dogs we were interested in meeting. We went to the shelter in town and looked through all of the twenty or so cages before laying eyes on "Daisy". She was in one of the last cages we looked in, in a smaller room off of the main room, and she immediately caught and held our attention. She was beautiful; an innocent, amber-eyed, strawberry blonde creature, looking up at us with unbreaking eye contact. We later learned that her previous owner had dropped her off just a few hours prior for digging in the backyard (wth?!?!?!). She wanted to go home with us for sure and we fell in love with her instantly, forgetting about all of the other puppies we had fawned over just the night before, so excited to meet. Once we met her, none of those other puppies would possibly compare. Just two (of the longest ever) days later, we brought her home and we renamed her Calla (like the lily, get it?). She really turned out to be the most perfect dog. So intelligent, attentive, intuitive, and sweet; she has to this day rarely done anything to merit discipline, she never chewed on anything, had maybe 5 accidents of peeing inside total when we were first training her to use the dog door to go outside, she doesn't bite, only barks when she gets excited playing with her sisters or watching birds and squirrels outside, she always listens and obeys commands to "come" and "sit" or she knows not what to do when I say "no". She was an only dog child for several months after we got her in the summer, and I spent a lot of one-on-one time with her and even started taking her on daily excursions to the dog park (her favorite place on earth to this day). I think spending so much time, just her and I, had a lot to do with why she is still my most sensitive dog. She is extremely sensitive to the energy I put out. She can tell when I'm sad and she will always come us to me with this sweet and loving look in her eyes and start gentling licking my face. She can tell what days we are planning a dog park trip somehow, even before I give any indication, and she gets very excited with anticipation and dances around our feet until it's time to leave, she has endless energy all the time. Later, she even started telling me when one of her sisters (Dora) was doing something she wasn't supposed to like chewing my slipper or peeing in the house by coming up to me again and again, unrelenting until I would follow her to the scene of the crime. She once even saw a cat not even 5 yards away from us when we were unloading from a trip to the dog park and she was not on a leash and all I had to do was say "no, Calla" and she immediately diverted her attention and followed me away from the cat, inside. She is the 'perfect child' haha. Calla bear has always been my side kick, following me everywhere, wanting to be closest, but never clingy like Olive is. She always gives me "hugs" where she stands up on her two back feet and puts her front paws on my stomach and she will even let me take her paws in my hands and we will dance for a minute (my favorite thing) and she loves to smell and lick my honey flavored (and only the honey flavored) chapstick from my lips (gross, I know). She always peers around the door frame of the bathroom at me when I am getting ready in the mornings and looks at me to get my reaction to situations she isn't sure about until I give her the reassuring "sok Calla!" and she understands everything is fine. Calla is also the most tempermental. While the other pups are always easy-going, Calla is particular and even makes a certain sound when she is annoyed. It is always when she is laying somewhere and either Olive or Dora invade her personal space (she does not like to cuddle up with them) or when she is laying on the bed with Daniel and I and we are moving around to get situated too much for her liking. It really is a lot like the sound someone might make when they are doing that disapproving grunt that just comes from the back of the throat. I like to put my hand in the ring her husky-like tail makes sometimes when she walks by me and she thinks I didn't notice her. During the school year, when I have to go to bed several hours before Daniel gets off of work, Calla always takes her place on the bed to wait for me to get into bed and then lays next to me, my little spoon. Needless to say, Calla has a special place in my heart.
Pandora is as opposite from Calla as possible, in every way. Pandora came to us from a friend who found her wandering the streets as a baby puppy and scooped her up to take care of her. Calla and I met Pandora during her first trip to the dog park when Pandora was just a few months old, weighing no more than 15 pounds, cowering against her owner's feet, afraid of all of the activity and doggies playing freely around her. Pandora even ended up vomiting that day I remember from her anxiety and fear of being in such a big new place. Maybe a month later, after Pandora had continued to grow like a weed, her owner, our friend, asked Daniel and I if we might like to take her because he could not devote the time necessary to properly take care of her. Daniel and I had been talking about getting a second dog eventually, so we decided that we'd take a chance on Pandora and pick her up to "try her out" for a few days to gauge how Calla and her got along together. We brought Calla in the car with us to go pick up Pandora from our friend's backyard while he was away at work (with his permission, of course...). Calla was instantaneously overjoyed as soon as she layed eyes on Pandora, while Pandora, an all black dog, who was living tied up in a small, treeless backyard in the middle of the hottest part of the summer, was just as instantaneously terrified. She peed and cowered as far away from us as her chain would let her, but we reassured her with friendly talk, untied her, and led her to our car to take her to what would become her permanent home. After taking her home, I couldn't imagine her ever leaving. From the beginning, she was a bumbling cannon ball of a puppy, running around with feet too big for her body at speeds that were impossible for even her to stop without crashing into something. Very, very quickly, she grew in size, and by the time she was 6 months old, she weighed in at about 60 pounds (she is now almost 2 years old and weighs 80 pounds). She had every stereotypical "dog" characteristic I had always heard about. She chewed on anything and everything, taking her most favorite possessions of mine out to the backyard to destroy beyond recognition in 10 seconds flat, she was much more difficult to potty train than Calla and seemed to never get the impression that she was being disciplined, even when I would try scolding her in the meanest tone I could muster. She still has little to no reaction to me trying to let her know when she does something wrong, though she rarely does anything wrong now... just an occasional slipper chew when she's bored. For the bordem, we've learned to give her raw hide bones; her most prized possession on earth. Dora is motivated by food in a way that Calla never was. While Calla would even turn her nose up at certain treats before we found what she liked, Dora will eat anything and everything without ever chewing or tasting it and love every (one) second of it. Once we learned this, training Dora became much easier and she will literally chew a raw hide bone completely in like 15 minutes while it takes Calla and Olive an hour or more. We started taking Dora and Calla to the dog park together and it worked out for a while, that is until Dora grew and grew to be gigantic and forgot that she had gotten so big and would play too aggressively with other dogs. She has no concept of playing gentle with little dogs or controlling herself around timid dogs, so we had to stop taking her into the dog pen, but opted for the even better experience of the dog park trails. Calla and Olive love the endless expanse of running freedom that the trails have to offer and Dora enjoys it too. While her sisters are off exploring, Dora prefers to stay close to Daniel and I when walking the trails, and she gets tired more easily, prefering to do an occasional fast trot rather than a full out run. Dora LOVES to swim though. She truly is a water dog, and I love to see her swim. She is also the only one that actually enjoys getting a bath. She is always the first to post up in her spot on the couch at home and she is always the last to get up if the others decide the party is moving to another room. She is very easy going and loves to get attention from Daniel and I, even if that means butting in front of everyone else to get it. She is super protective, and always perks her head up, ready to defend, from a deep slumber if she hears an animal noise on the T.V. (especially a dog). My favorite are Dora's puppy dreams. She must have the most vivid dreams when she sleeps because she is always garaunteed to make short, whining breaths and breath a little bit faster at least once during her R.E.M. cycle. She has the most beautiful, shiny coat as well, and I love to pet her on the chest and on her head in between her eyes and watch her get so relaxed (as if she isn't always). Right now, I am listening to her puppy snores as she sleeps peacefully. I love my big Dore.
And then there's our newest addition, Olive. Olive is the little dog I never knew I wanted and I could never imagine life without her. We adopted Olive on a whim from Daniel's mom, who rescues dogs and cats. She has been rescuing cast-off animals ever since Daniel was a child, and at any given time, she may have a collection of 20 animals living on her property in specially designed homes both inside and outside her house. On this particular visit, Olive had newly arrived a couple days prior to our visit by way of Daniel's brother. His brother spotted Olive in the road of a major intersection in the town they live in and saved her from being hit by cars. Later that day, Olive was at her new temporary home in Daniel's mom's house with all of the other little dogs that live there. When we met Olive, she was known as 'Penny' and her favorite playmate was not any of the other small dogs, but the one larger dog that lived in the same space as the small dogs. She was a firecracker of a dog, our 'Rocket Dog' we later ended up calling her. She was a young puppy, while all of the other dogs were older and overweight, out of shape, so Daniel actually brought up the idea of taking her to live with us. After spending the afternoon outside playing with her, I reluctantly agreed to take her home (afterall, three dogs is waaay more than two!). On the hour long car ride home, Penny lay, curled up in my lap, with her tiny chin resting on the center console; that's when I fell in love. It wasn't love at first sight like Calla, but the love I have for Olive grew into something so special because she snuggled her way into my heart during that car ride home. We also decided on her name then, on the car ride home, and she was then known as Olive. Our little Olive. 'The littlest dog', we affectionately call her. She was fearless when we introduced her to Calla and Dora, one dog double her weight and one dog over five times her weight! Calla seemed unimpressed, but Dora took right to Olive. They are like two peas in a pod. It's so hilarious to see Olive bow up to Dora and wrestle with her, play tug-of-war and buddy around with her, clearly without the realization that she is so much smaller than Dora. Size doesn't matter to her. At any given time, if you find Dora, Olive is nearby, either rough-housing or snoozing the day away. Olive is also a true lap dog. She loves to be clingy and close all of the time, even if someone else (Calla) is close, Olive will get closer. Even as I type this on the couch, with my laptop in my lap, she proceeds to lay across the keyboard and look up at me like, "here I am, in my spot, snuggle with me". She is so precious for this. She is the sleepiest little puppy who loves to cuddle up and even sleeps right between Daniel and I, under the covers, in bed at night. All night. She has a bladder of steel because she literally would never get up to go outside if we didn't pick her up and put her out there. She is forever curled up in a tiny puppy-sized ball, surrounded by some blanket or material she has pawed at to get her desired fluffiness, and I love the little *tink tink tink tink* noise her tiny claws make as she walks across the hardwood floor in our bedroom to jump up on the bed to nap. And when she naps, she usally always has her eyelids at least partially open and I can usually see her eyeballs swimming to the back of her head. Another thing I love about Olive is her hair. She has the most scraggly, scrappy dog hair that always falls in her face and makes her look like a puppy tomboy who doesn't know how to tame her bangs yet to keep them out of her eyes. Lately, she makes the sweetest little sounds too, when she's tired and in between naps, like maybe Cindy Loo Who from Whoville sighed just barely, just enough for you to think you heard something and then wonder if you actually did. She really is the baby of the family and she knows it too.
So, this really just turned out to be a way for me to subdue my impending seperation anxiety a little longer and write a really really long blog about how much I adore my dogs. Ha. I'm sorry, but it was worth it for me, and oh, how I love them so:)
Til next time...
Puppy friends and I say,
Take Care.
Tomorrow Daniel and I are leaving for the weekend. We are headed to Austin for the annual Star of Texas tattoo convention for our third year with intentions to also see some sites and spend some quality time with my brother and sister-in-law. I've also recently developed an obsession with thrifting, so I hope to venture into a few thrift shops because I know Austin has some really good ones! I will be on the look-out for a mustard yellow wing-back chair (I will die if I actually find one for a good price) and any pretty little odds and ends I can get my hands on.
Taking the weekend trip to the convention has kind of become our little "anniversary trip" because the first year we attended the convention, Daniel and I had been dating for several months, but had made our relationship "official" just a few weeks before and so the trip to Austin was our first experience traveling together and taking trips anywhere (even just 3 hours away) is always so fun when it's with the one you love:) We even said the words "I love you" for the first time in Austin (awwww).
So, I'm excited to head south with high hopes of having a great time! One of my (not so secret) secret hopes is that my pregnant sister-in-law goes into labor before her due date of January 26th. I want to meet that baby and I want to meet him this weekend while we're there! My plan includes feeding her habanero peppers and maybe rubbing her feet to hit the nerve that can induce labor. I am also getting tattooed at the convention by Tristan (don't tell my mom), one of Daniel's co-workers, so I am super stoked on that too!
Traveling anywhere always means that I have to leave my three beautiful fur babies at home in the care of someone else. This seperation always makes me feel a little weepy and slightly guilty; almost as if passing off my responsibility for them to someone else for the weekend means I'm not responsible enough to be their mommy or that leaving them for a few days will make my fur babies sad and angry that I left them. In reality, I know they notice that we're gone, but I imagine they probably don't mind as much as I do. I am just a worrier (thanks, mom), but I know they are in good hands and that when we get back home after our trip, they won't even remember I was ever gone.
I imagine I love my dog babies the same way a mother loves her child. Not to say that the love a mother has for her child is equal to the love I have for my dogs, but I bet it is the same kind of love. The kind of love that hurts when you have to leave and is so strong that you never have question why you feel it, you just do and you'll never stop. I love how individual my dogs are. I love their personalities so much and their uniqueness... and their craziness.
Calla is the eldest sister. She was our first dog together (my first dog ever) and we planned all of the details before taking her home. We had looked online at a pet finder website and narrowed down our search to the local shelter in town and another shelter in a bordering town that had dogs we were interested in meeting. We went to the shelter in town and looked through all of the twenty or so cages before laying eyes on "Daisy". She was in one of the last cages we looked in, in a smaller room off of the main room, and she immediately caught and held our attention. She was beautiful; an innocent, amber-eyed, strawberry blonde creature, looking up at us with unbreaking eye contact. We later learned that her previous owner had dropped her off just a few hours prior for digging in the backyard (wth?!?!?!). She wanted to go home with us for sure and we fell in love with her instantly, forgetting about all of the other puppies we had fawned over just the night before, so excited to meet. Once we met her, none of those other puppies would possibly compare. Just two (of the longest ever) days later, we brought her home and we renamed her Calla (like the lily, get it?). She really turned out to be the most perfect dog. So intelligent, attentive, intuitive, and sweet; she has to this day rarely done anything to merit discipline, she never chewed on anything, had maybe 5 accidents of peeing inside total when we were first training her to use the dog door to go outside, she doesn't bite, only barks when she gets excited playing with her sisters or watching birds and squirrels outside, she always listens and obeys commands to "come" and "sit" or she knows not what to do when I say "no". She was an only dog child for several months after we got her in the summer, and I spent a lot of one-on-one time with her and even started taking her on daily excursions to the dog park (her favorite place on earth to this day). I think spending so much time, just her and I, had a lot to do with why she is still my most sensitive dog. She is extremely sensitive to the energy I put out. She can tell when I'm sad and she will always come us to me with this sweet and loving look in her eyes and start gentling licking my face. She can tell what days we are planning a dog park trip somehow, even before I give any indication, and she gets very excited with anticipation and dances around our feet until it's time to leave, she has endless energy all the time. Later, she even started telling me when one of her sisters (Dora) was doing something she wasn't supposed to like chewing my slipper or peeing in the house by coming up to me again and again, unrelenting until I would follow her to the scene of the crime. She once even saw a cat not even 5 yards away from us when we were unloading from a trip to the dog park and she was not on a leash and all I had to do was say "no, Calla" and she immediately diverted her attention and followed me away from the cat, inside. She is the 'perfect child' haha. Calla bear has always been my side kick, following me everywhere, wanting to be closest, but never clingy like Olive is. She always gives me "hugs" where she stands up on her two back feet and puts her front paws on my stomach and she will even let me take her paws in my hands and we will dance for a minute (my favorite thing) and she loves to smell and lick my honey flavored (and only the honey flavored) chapstick from my lips (gross, I know). She always peers around the door frame of the bathroom at me when I am getting ready in the mornings and looks at me to get my reaction to situations she isn't sure about until I give her the reassuring "sok Calla!" and she understands everything is fine. Calla is also the most tempermental. While the other pups are always easy-going, Calla is particular and even makes a certain sound when she is annoyed. It is always when she is laying somewhere and either Olive or Dora invade her personal space (she does not like to cuddle up with them) or when she is laying on the bed with Daniel and I and we are moving around to get situated too much for her liking. It really is a lot like the sound someone might make when they are doing that disapproving grunt that just comes from the back of the throat. I like to put my hand in the ring her husky-like tail makes sometimes when she walks by me and she thinks I didn't notice her. During the school year, when I have to go to bed several hours before Daniel gets off of work, Calla always takes her place on the bed to wait for me to get into bed and then lays next to me, my little spoon. Needless to say, Calla has a special place in my heart.
And then there's our newest addition, Olive. Olive is the little dog I never knew I wanted and I could never imagine life without her. We adopted Olive on a whim from Daniel's mom, who rescues dogs and cats. She has been rescuing cast-off animals ever since Daniel was a child, and at any given time, she may have a collection of 20 animals living on her property in specially designed homes both inside and outside her house. On this particular visit, Olive had newly arrived a couple days prior to our visit by way of Daniel's brother. His brother spotted Olive in the road of a major intersection in the town they live in and saved her from being hit by cars. Later that day, Olive was at her new temporary home in Daniel's mom's house with all of the other little dogs that live there. When we met Olive, she was known as 'Penny' and her favorite playmate was not any of the other small dogs, but the one larger dog that lived in the same space as the small dogs. She was a firecracker of a dog, our 'Rocket Dog' we later ended up calling her. She was a young puppy, while all of the other dogs were older and overweight, out of shape, so Daniel actually brought up the idea of taking her to live with us. After spending the afternoon outside playing with her, I reluctantly agreed to take her home (afterall, three dogs is waaay more than two!). On the hour long car ride home, Penny lay, curled up in my lap, with her tiny chin resting on the center console; that's when I fell in love. It wasn't love at first sight like Calla, but the love I have for Olive grew into something so special because she snuggled her way into my heart during that car ride home. We also decided on her name then, on the car ride home, and she was then known as Olive. Our little Olive. 'The littlest dog', we affectionately call her. She was fearless when we introduced her to Calla and Dora, one dog double her weight and one dog over five times her weight! Calla seemed unimpressed, but Dora took right to Olive. They are like two peas in a pod. It's so hilarious to see Olive bow up to Dora and wrestle with her, play tug-of-war and buddy around with her, clearly without the realization that she is so much smaller than Dora. Size doesn't matter to her. At any given time, if you find Dora, Olive is nearby, either rough-housing or snoozing the day away. Olive is also a true lap dog. She loves to be clingy and close all of the time, even if someone else (Calla) is close, Olive will get closer. Even as I type this on the couch, with my laptop in my lap, she proceeds to lay across the keyboard and look up at me like, "here I am, in my spot, snuggle with me". She is so precious for this. She is the sleepiest little puppy who loves to cuddle up and even sleeps right between Daniel and I, under the covers, in bed at night. All night. She has a bladder of steel because she literally would never get up to go outside if we didn't pick her up and put her out there. She is forever curled up in a tiny puppy-sized ball, surrounded by some blanket or material she has pawed at to get her desired fluffiness, and I love the little *tink tink tink tink* noise her tiny claws make as she walks across the hardwood floor in our bedroom to jump up on the bed to nap. And when she naps, she usally always has her eyelids at least partially open and I can usually see her eyeballs swimming to the back of her head. Another thing I love about Olive is her hair. She has the most scraggly, scrappy dog hair that always falls in her face and makes her look like a puppy tomboy who doesn't know how to tame her bangs yet to keep them out of her eyes. Lately, she makes the sweetest little sounds too, when she's tired and in between naps, like maybe Cindy Loo Who from Whoville sighed just barely, just enough for you to think you heard something and then wonder if you actually did. She really is the baby of the family and she knows it too.
Til next time...
Puppy friends and I say,
Take Care.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Creative... kinda
D.I.Y
Do it yourself.
This is a very vague acronym, but according to Wikipedia, it is "a term used to describe the building, modifying, or repairing of something without the aid of experts or professionals". Does is still count if what you do yourself has under no circumstance and would never require the aid of an expert or a professional? If so, I do a lot of D.I.Y.-ing...
For example, one of the first things I do every morning after waking up is build a smoothie using ingredients I put together and blend myself. Or, I might even modify a bagel with some cream cheese, or bacon and an egg in the middle and build a bagel sandwich, myself.
But, I'm just being ridiculous... Let me tell you about what D.I.Y. project I actually did today:)
Being unemployed and on winter break from school has provided me many, many hours to myself in which I have done lots of fun things. The holidays are always a happy time for me because I spend extra time with my family, not spending hours on end at school allows me to hangout with my 3 pups all day, and Daniel has a few additional days off for Christamas Eve, Christmas and New Year's Day. While I am totally loving all this time off to spend with loved ones, I am also spending A LOT more time at home... by myself... with nothing to do... Everyone I know works, has kids, has a life, while I do not. So now, with the time I have left to do nothing dwindling (next semester at school begins in 7 days), I've been going crazier than ever with cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, organizing, and really trying to whip our home into shape!
We've lived in our house for a little over 2 years now. Our hectic work and school schedules coupled with of our tendency to hoard and our pack rat characteristics have inhibited us from truly settling in completely or from finding a proper place for all of our belongings. Making things feel homey, if you will. When I spend so much time at home, these things I already know become even more apparent, and lately we've been having pretty serious thoughts of moving to Europe in a few years, so I think it is definitely time to settle in here before it's too late to get all of the enjoyment that we possibly can out of our first home together.
Sooo, all of this is to say that today I etched the shit out of some glass!
Previously unbeknownst to me, etching designs into glass and mirrors is very easy. Martha Stewart taught me this from a craft book I have of hers, and I was excited to try it on a vintage mirror Daniel's parents gave to us last year and some glass bottles I've been saving (hoarding) for no reason in particular (aside from hopes that I would one day find a use for them). And I did! I (Daniel) will hang the mirror in our room tomorrow and one of the pictures further down shows how I displayed the glass bottles. These are the little touches I love so much that make our house a home!
I began at Hobby Lobby to pick up my supplies. I already had the objects I wanted to etch, paper towels, Windex, a pencil and a paint brush, but I had to get everything else: etching cream, protective gloves, stencils, self-adhesive shelf liner, and an exact-o knife. The total was somewhere around $30 (the etching cream is $10 for a small bottle). Gather all supplies and use a drop cloth to protect any furniture as the etching cream is damaging to that as well as your skin, eyes, and respiratory tract (yikes!). Now, get to work! (I would have taken more detailed step-by-step pictures, but I was too afraid of getting the etching cream everywhere, so I wore the gloves most of the time)
Well, I hope you learned something new that you might try out! It is tedious cutting the design, but if you're smarter than I was, you will just find a self-adhesive stencil and skip the hard part :)
And I did it all myself.
Til next time...
Take Care.
Do it yourself.
This is a very vague acronym, but according to Wikipedia, it is "a term used to describe the building, modifying, or repairing of something without the aid of experts or professionals". Does is still count if what you do yourself has under no circumstance and would never require the aid of an expert or a professional? If so, I do a lot of D.I.Y.-ing...
For example, one of the first things I do every morning after waking up is build a smoothie using ingredients I put together and blend myself. Or, I might even modify a bagel with some cream cheese, or bacon and an egg in the middle and build a bagel sandwich, myself.
But, I'm just being ridiculous... Let me tell you about what D.I.Y. project I actually did today:)
Being unemployed and on winter break from school has provided me many, many hours to myself in which I have done lots of fun things. The holidays are always a happy time for me because I spend extra time with my family, not spending hours on end at school allows me to hangout with my 3 pups all day, and Daniel has a few additional days off for Christamas Eve, Christmas and New Year's Day. While I am totally loving all this time off to spend with loved ones, I am also spending A LOT more time at home... by myself... with nothing to do... Everyone I know works, has kids, has a life, while I do not. So now, with the time I have left to do nothing dwindling (next semester at school begins in 7 days), I've been going crazier than ever with cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, organizing, and really trying to whip our home into shape!
We've lived in our house for a little over 2 years now. Our hectic work and school schedules coupled with of our tendency to hoard and our pack rat characteristics have inhibited us from truly settling in completely or from finding a proper place for all of our belongings. Making things feel homey, if you will. When I spend so much time at home, these things I already know become even more apparent, and lately we've been having pretty serious thoughts of moving to Europe in a few years, so I think it is definitely time to settle in here before it's too late to get all of the enjoyment that we possibly can out of our first home together.
Sooo, all of this is to say that today I etched the shit out of some glass!
Previously unbeknownst to me, etching designs into glass and mirrors is very easy. Martha Stewart taught me this from a craft book I have of hers, and I was excited to try it on a vintage mirror Daniel's parents gave to us last year and some glass bottles I've been saving (hoarding) for no reason in particular (aside from hopes that I would one day find a use for them). And I did! I (Daniel) will hang the mirror in our room tomorrow and one of the pictures further down shows how I displayed the glass bottles. These are the little touches I love so much that make our house a home!
I began at Hobby Lobby to pick up my supplies. I already had the objects I wanted to etch, paper towels, Windex, a pencil and a paint brush, but I had to get everything else: etching cream, protective gloves, stencils, self-adhesive shelf liner, and an exact-o knife. The total was somewhere around $30 (the etching cream is $10 for a small bottle). Gather all supplies and use a drop cloth to protect any furniture as the etching cream is damaging to that as well as your skin, eyes, and respiratory tract (yikes!). Now, get to work! (I would have taken more detailed step-by-step pictures, but I was too afraid of getting the etching cream everywhere, so I wore the gloves most of the time)
 |
| Supplies! Clean all surfaces and follow directions on the etching cream bottle |
 |
| Trace design onto shelf liner first |
 |
| Adhere shelf liner in desired position on mirror |
 |
| Use an exact-o knife to cut the design through the shelf liner |
 |
| Apply etching cream according to directions on bottle to cut-outs in design |
 |
| Follow directions for etching cream removal and peel off shelf adhesive. Voila! Etched bird prettiness:) |
 |
| Follow same steps with glass bottles! |
 |
| "L" of "LOVE" |
 |
| "E" of "LOVE" |
 |
| What I used my etched glass bottles for |
 |
| Ta Da! |
And I did it all myself.
Til next time...
Take Care.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Perspective
Ahhh (relaxing sigh, not a 'Home Alone'-esque exclamation)
I am just settling in for the night after a long and wonderful day at the Brockett's (aka Daniel's parents) home. I am blogging whilst propped up in bed, surrounded by the people (3 furry babies and Daniel) I love most dearly. My dogs are napping quietly on the bed all around me and Daniel is listening to an audiobook and painting. This is the perfect ending to a beautiful day:)
Since honesty is the best policy, I will begin by admitting that yesterday I acted a fool. My fiance is the nicest, most accomodating partner that one could really ever ask for, and somehow I am lucky enough that he loves me and is always willing to do anything to make me happy. Yesterday, like everyday, was one of those days on which he wanted to make me happy by cooking us both breakfast before HE left for a 10 hour work day. We decided to have toast with Nutella (mmm) and banana on top. So, as I was selfishly getting ready in the bathroom (for nothing, I might add...) Daniel was making our breakfast. Soon, we were both sitting down to eat our beautiful meal, complete with orange juice for him and apple for me. As I took my first bite, I realized and said outloud, "Oh, this bread isn't toasted. I didn't want just bread... I wanted toast" and proceeded to throw what I can only describe as an adult temper tantrum.
Thereby, once again displaying my uncanny ability to be the biggest bitch in the world for no good reason at the expense of the kindest man in existence.
Now, looking back, the untoasted bread was really a non-issue... I can now ashamedly admit that it would not have made a difference one way or the other-toasted or untoasted- but, in that moment, and because I am a miserable person, I decided that it did matter and commenced looking disappointed and insisted that I had to have toast, which of course made my sweet sweet Daniel feel like his beautiful breakfast was inadequate. My sour attitude and overall inability to take even the most minor unexpected situations (bread I thought would be toast being bread) in stride must change. And besides the fact that it puts a bad spin on a perfectly good day for both Daniel and myself, it's juvenile and ridiculous that I should not be able to make the best of any situation at my age and in my adult relationship with someone I care very much about... and about fucking toast. Bread. Whatever!
People end relationships for all sorts of reasons and I would never want Daniel to resent me when the only disagreements we ever end up having are because of my personal failures to cope with slightly disappointing or stressful situations. I want him to be able to count on me and rest assured that I am not going to just make a huge deal out of the tiniest of details or something not going the way I had expected it to. I mean, what about when we have children?
This is just one of the many reasons I must gain perspective in my life.
In honor of putting the 'Toast (bread) debacle of 2012' behind me, I am really making a conscious effort to put things into perspective daily in order to teach myself to pay attention to the things that are important and to let those that are not as important slide off my back if I need to. Accept that things aren't perfect and move on. Most importantly, I want to always remember that this relationship I have is earned and he puts in the hard work to please me, so I should do the same to keep us both happy in our lives.
Anyway, thanks for listening, because that's been on my mind since yesterday. Now, onto the real fun! Our day at the Brockett's! I love going out to their property because it is off the beaten path, we get to bring our puppies to lots of land so they can run around to their heart's content, and I always feel very grateful to be in such good company because Daniel's parents are the best. With my new found perspective in mind, here are several pictures I took to remember our day by:)
I am just settling in for the night after a long and wonderful day at the Brockett's (aka Daniel's parents) home. I am blogging whilst propped up in bed, surrounded by the people (3 furry babies and Daniel) I love most dearly. My dogs are napping quietly on the bed all around me and Daniel is listening to an audiobook and painting. This is the perfect ending to a beautiful day:)
Since honesty is the best policy, I will begin by admitting that yesterday I acted a fool. My fiance is the nicest, most accomodating partner that one could really ever ask for, and somehow I am lucky enough that he loves me and is always willing to do anything to make me happy. Yesterday, like everyday, was one of those days on which he wanted to make me happy by cooking us both breakfast before HE left for a 10 hour work day. We decided to have toast with Nutella (mmm) and banana on top. So, as I was selfishly getting ready in the bathroom (for nothing, I might add...) Daniel was making our breakfast. Soon, we were both sitting down to eat our beautiful meal, complete with orange juice for him and apple for me. As I took my first bite, I realized and said outloud, "Oh, this bread isn't toasted. I didn't want just bread... I wanted toast" and proceeded to throw what I can only describe as an adult temper tantrum.
Thereby, once again displaying my uncanny ability to be the biggest bitch in the world for no good reason at the expense of the kindest man in existence.
Now, looking back, the untoasted bread was really a non-issue... I can now ashamedly admit that it would not have made a difference one way or the other-toasted or untoasted- but, in that moment, and because I am a miserable person, I decided that it did matter and commenced looking disappointed and insisted that I had to have toast, which of course made my sweet sweet Daniel feel like his beautiful breakfast was inadequate. My sour attitude and overall inability to take even the most minor unexpected situations (bread I thought would be toast being bread) in stride must change. And besides the fact that it puts a bad spin on a perfectly good day for both Daniel and myself, it's juvenile and ridiculous that I should not be able to make the best of any situation at my age and in my adult relationship with someone I care very much about... and about fucking toast. Bread. Whatever!
People end relationships for all sorts of reasons and I would never want Daniel to resent me when the only disagreements we ever end up having are because of my personal failures to cope with slightly disappointing or stressful situations. I want him to be able to count on me and rest assured that I am not going to just make a huge deal out of the tiniest of details or something not going the way I had expected it to. I mean, what about when we have children?
This is just one of the many reasons I must gain perspective in my life.
In honor of putting the 'Toast (bread) debacle of 2012' behind me, I am really making a conscious effort to put things into perspective daily in order to teach myself to pay attention to the things that are important and to let those that are not as important slide off my back if I need to. Accept that things aren't perfect and move on. Most importantly, I want to always remember that this relationship I have is earned and he puts in the hard work to please me, so I should do the same to keep us both happy in our lives.
Anyway, thanks for listening, because that's been on my mind since yesterday. Now, onto the real fun! Our day at the Brockett's! I love going out to their property because it is off the beaten path, we get to bring our puppies to lots of land so they can run around to their heart's content, and I always feel very grateful to be in such good company because Daniel's parents are the best. With my new found perspective in mind, here are several pictures I took to remember our day by:)
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| Yes, Daniel made this and yes, it was perfect;) |
 |
| Calla, backseat driver |
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| Dora, cool with whatever |
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| Olive and I on our way! |
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| Rose |
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| Olive, Calla and Pooh Bear |
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| Perspective |
Take Care.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Direction
Greetings All! (and by 'all', I mean myself, because I'm probably the only person reading this)
As I sit here in front of my computer screen, listening to a shuffle mix of Drake's 'Take Care' album and Florence + the Machine's album 'Ceremonials' on my iphone, I think to myself- what might my very own blog contain? What things could I record here, or what shape might this creative outlet of mine take?
Actually, I've been contemplating this since last night after I created this page and I do believe that I would like to use my blog to share my often judgemental thoughts on assorted topics, my mundane day-to-day activites, and fleeting obsessions of mine that I should probably just keep to myself. Yes, I think that is the direction I will take and I think that will suit me just fine.
I hope it suits you, too. Afterall, if it doesn't, then I am just talking to myself :)
So, let me dive right in and try this out...
I have several new food fixations as of late... one being Nutella and the other being Trolli Strawberry Puffs... if you haven't tried one or both of those things, I think it's about time you did. Fun foods make me feel like a kid again and everything about that is okay because I find more and more it is important for me to remember that life should be full of small and simple pleasures so that the stresses of being a "grown-up" don't consume me (and my well-being). It may seem silly and it kind of is, but, I like getting excited about the little things in life and I want to do that more often from here on out- maybe it's like a small reminder to have fun (and a decent excuse to eat sweets...)
I am also finding joy in fun new things like the iphone app, Instagram. Yes, I finally joined the iphone club just a few months ago and I've been able to find lots of creative inspiration through instagram. Granted, I am no photographer, but I really enjoy documenting my life through pictures in this cool and easy way and I got to thinking that maybe I could carry-over the pictures I've been snapping on instagram to this lil' blog of mine. Through searching users' pictures on instagram, I've found several really cool people to follow (mostly crafty ladies and lady tattooers) who post lots of cool photos and most also have very successful blogs and small businesses of their own!
Now, I don't know any of these people personally, but it's really neat to explore their photos and visit their websites/blogs because I find that it gives me new and different perspectives and creative stimulation to apply to my own life! Some of my new favorite blogs to visit are: A Beautiful Mess, Fancy Treehouse, Skunkboy Creatures and Fashionista 804. I have a previously unrealized interest in D.I.Y projects, a love of super girly and feminine fashion (even though I don't really dress that way myself), make-up, and anything vintage or owl related, so most of these blogs fulfill one if not all of those loves for me!
Anyway, I may have gotten off track with all of those tidbits, but the point is, I am discovering all the beautiful shiny things that bring a smile to my face and I am glad for it. I am excited to have a little creative inspiration and direction in hopes of leading a more fulfilled life; maybe even a longer life like these two sweet-seeming women.
Take Care.
As I sit here in front of my computer screen, listening to a shuffle mix of Drake's 'Take Care' album and Florence + the Machine's album 'Ceremonials' on my iphone, I think to myself- what might my very own blog contain? What things could I record here, or what shape might this creative outlet of mine take?
Actually, I've been contemplating this since last night after I created this page and I do believe that I would like to use my blog to share my often judgemental thoughts on assorted topics, my mundane day-to-day activites, and fleeting obsessions of mine that I should probably just keep to myself. Yes, I think that is the direction I will take and I think that will suit me just fine.
I hope it suits you, too. Afterall, if it doesn't, then I am just talking to myself :)
So, let me dive right in and try this out...
I have several new food fixations as of late... one being Nutella and the other being Trolli Strawberry Puffs... if you haven't tried one or both of those things, I think it's about time you did. Fun foods make me feel like a kid again and everything about that is okay because I find more and more it is important for me to remember that life should be full of small and simple pleasures so that the stresses of being a "grown-up" don't consume me (and my well-being). It may seem silly and it kind of is, but, I like getting excited about the little things in life and I want to do that more often from here on out- maybe it's like a small reminder to have fun (and a decent excuse to eat sweets...)
 |
| yummo! |
I am also finding joy in fun new things like the iphone app, Instagram. Yes, I finally joined the iphone club just a few months ago and I've been able to find lots of creative inspiration through instagram. Granted, I am no photographer, but I really enjoy documenting my life through pictures in this cool and easy way and I got to thinking that maybe I could carry-over the pictures I've been snapping on instagram to this lil' blog of mine. Through searching users' pictures on instagram, I've found several really cool people to follow (mostly crafty ladies and lady tattooers) who post lots of cool photos and most also have very successful blogs and small businesses of their own!
 |
| Instagram photo I took today |
Now, I don't know any of these people personally, but it's really neat to explore their photos and visit their websites/blogs because I find that it gives me new and different perspectives and creative stimulation to apply to my own life! Some of my new favorite blogs to visit are: A Beautiful Mess, Fancy Treehouse, Skunkboy Creatures and Fashionista 804. I have a previously unrealized interest in D.I.Y projects, a love of super girly and feminine fashion (even though I don't really dress that way myself), make-up, and anything vintage or owl related, so most of these blogs fulfill one if not all of those loves for me!
 |
| cuties for sale at Skunkboy Creatures |
Anyway, I may have gotten off track with all of those tidbits, but the point is, I am discovering all the beautiful shiny things that bring a smile to my face and I am glad for it. I am excited to have a little creative inspiration and direction in hopes of leading a more fulfilled life; maybe even a longer life like these two sweet-seeming women.
Take Care.
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